My approach to wedding ceremonies is simple: the service belongs to the couple.  No one can dictate the content of the ceremony.  It is your wedding. You are in charge of who is in it, how it goes, and to a large extent, what is said.  My role is to make sure you develop the right wedding ceremony.  As we work together to craft the ceremony, I will make suggestions  based on my expertise, about different ways the various elements of a ceremony might best flow together.  However, the final decision always remains with you.

II.   Rose Ceremonies We are familiar with two wedding traditions in which roses are used. In one, the mothers are given roses as tokens of the bride and grooms love for family. This is often kept secret from the family until the roses are presented. In another, roses are exchanged as the bride and grooms first gifts to one another as a married couple. Please let us know if you would like roses incorporated into your ceremony, and we will discuss further how you want them included. First Rose Ceremony Marriage is a coming together of two lives, and a celebration of the love of two people.  But it is more.  The love that you feel for one another is the flowering of a seed your mothers planted in your hearts many, many years ago.  When you were first born, you were a bundle of diapers and tears, and your mothers lost sleep caring for you.  Their love for you has brought them great happiness and great challenges, and their love did not diminish as the met these challenges.  That is the great lesson you can bring into your marriage.  As you embrace one another in your love, so too, you embrace the families which have been brought together on this happy occasion.  As a token of your gratitude for your families, I would like to ask you to offer these symbols of eternal love, these roses, to your mothers.  (Both bride and groom can hand the roses to each mother together offering the mothers kisses if they wish.) Second Rose Ceremony ________ and ________, you will remember this day for the rest of your lives.  Those of us who are already married know that marriage, like life, brings with it many joys and also many challenges.  We also know that love, while beautiful, does not always show it's prettiest face.  There are days when we may find it hard to express the depth of our love for one another.  It is my hope and prayer the the two of you will set aside a special place in your home for roses, ancient symbols of  love.  When words fail  you, or when the challenges of life or marriage begin to weigh on you, go out and get a rose, and put it in that special place in your home, so that the other will be reminded of this moment, and of the love you feel for one another.  As a token of that love, I would like to ask you to make these roses your first gifts to one another as a married couple. III.   Wine Ceremonies One of the newest additions to Ceremonies is the Optional Wine Ceremony immediately following the exchange of rings.  Its popularity is growing and spreading rapidly. The Wine Ceremony is based on a theme developed by the late Indian poet Kahill Gibran.  He wrote: "Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup." There is a general familiarity with  many Jewish Wine Ceremonies.  The breaking of a glass under the heel is optional, yet still popular.  The Ceremony has its purpose of toasting each other within the context of the Wedding Ceremony itself. In the Ceremony, following a brief reading of Gibran's words, the couple fills each other's glass - then they toast each other by raising their glasses - and drink from their own glass.  As they do, I remind them what brought them together was their uniqueness.  As they become couple (which they honour by filling each others glass), may they cherish their individuality (which they honour by drinking from their own glass).  Alternately, the couple drinks from one cup, first the groom who then offers the cup to the bride, who then drinks from it.  One final note, it is called a Wine Ceremony, however the actual contents of the decanter might be water or a non-alcoholic beverage.  Occasionally, individuals have a sensitivity to alcohol.  What is important is the form, not the fluid. IV.   Candles Unity Candle If you decide to have a Unity Candle in you ceremony, you will need two standard tapers and one large candle in the middle.  The two outer candles are lit just prior to the ceremony, either by the ushers, the mothers of the bride and groom, or other family members.  If you are planning an outdoor ceremony, lighting a unity candle is not possible.  However it is possible to include the words below in the ceremony, with minor alterations and then to light the candle indoors afterwards.  Another alternative would be the Sand ceremony. The flame has traditionally been thought of as a symbol of the spirit, ________ and ________, you have learned much in your individual lives. [Optional, if the mothers have lit the candles just before the ceremony: Your mothers are both here to bless your marriage, and it is filling that they have lit the two individual candles you see here.  For it is they who brought you life, and taught you your first lessons about love.] Your [other] family members, and friends, many of whom are here with you today, have all been a part of your individual lives,, and have shared with you your hope, your dreams, your triumphs, and your sufferings.  There is a special way you are together that is just not like the way you have ever been with anyone else.  You have a way of sharing with each other, of laughing and joking together, that is unlike with anyone else.  That special love you felt for one another continued to grow, bringing you to this moment, when you are committing your love to one another, and building a life together.  Just as the flame you are about to  light is not created solely by either candle , so too, is your love not the sole possession or creation of either of you.  As a symbol of the spirit of love that has grown between you, I would like to ask you to light the Unity Candle at this time. (This is another good time for a song, if you wish to music during the ceremony.) Congregational Candles Using a congregational candle brings another dimension to your ceremony.  Congregational candles are about the thickness of a pen and are about six inches tall.  A paper sheath protect its holder from any way that may drip. Congregational candles may be used in ceremonies whether a Unity Candle is used or not.  They are distributed by ushers as guests enter or are places on all seats before the ceremony begins.  Just before the bride and groom take their vows, the officiant asks the audience to  light their congregational candles.  The lights are dimmed down and the bride and groom exchange vows and rings under the milky glow of the candles.  An outstanding touch! The candles are extinguished before the bride and groom are pronounced husband and wife so that the audience may applaud them.  Congregational candles may be used any time of day, indoors or out.  But, they are most dramatic at night.  They are inexpensive and may be obtained from your local mall, a candle shop, or religious supply store. VIII. Exchange Rings There are many different ring ceremonies.  I encourage you to search and experiment here.  Yu have seen and heard several different styles in various places.  In the end - make yours - your own. What tokens of your love and devotion do you have to offer one another? May these rings be blessed and a symbol of this affectionate unity.  Your lives are being joined today in one unbroken circle.  Wherever you go, may you always return to one another in your togetherness.  May you find in one another the love for which all men and women yearn.  May you grow in understanding and compassion.  May the home which you establish together be such a place of sanctuary that all who are here today and others through the years will find their true friends.  May these rings, soon to be on your fingers, symbolize the touch of the spirit of love that is in both your hearts. ________, in placing the ring on ________'s left hand please repeat after me: ________, I give you this ring as a pledge of my love, and as a symbol of our unity. Repeated by both the bride and groom.